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• meeting people

Dating as an Indian Student Abroad

You arrive with two suitcases, a reading list and a family group chat that wants a photo of every meal. Within a few weeks you have a timetable, a part-time job and a flat with people you met on the day you moved in. And somewhere in the middle of all that, you meet someone.

Studying abroad is one of the most common ways Indian singles end up dating for the first time without family close by. It is also a strange time to start a relationship. Everyone around you is new, nobody is sure where they will be in two years, and the reason you are there in the first place is a degree that your family may have sacrificed a lot to pay for.

None of that means you should not date. It just means doing it with your eyes open.

What makes student dating different

Everything is temporary. Courses last one, two or four years, and then people scatter. That does not make a relationship less real, but it does mean the question of “what happens next” arrives sooner than it would at home.

Money is tight. Tuition, rent and visa costs leave little room for expensive dates, and that is fine. Nobody expects a candlelit dinner from a student.

You are both new. You may be meeting someone who is just as homesick and unsettled as you are. That can bring you close quickly, sometimes faster than the relationship would otherwise go.

Different norms, all at once. If you grew up in India, dating culture abroad can feel very direct. If your match grew up abroad, your expectations about families, pace and commitment may be quite different. Our post on dating across the diaspora covers this in more depth.

Where students meet

The first term is the best time to meet people, because everyone is looking for friends and every society is recruiting.

• Indian student associations run welcome events, festival celebrations and sports, and they are often the busiest societies on campus.
• Regional and language groups bring together people from the same state, which matters more than you might expect when you are far from home.
• Festival nights such as Diwali, Holi, Onam and Navratri draw students from across universities, not just your own.
• Volunteering for those events is easier than standing at the edge of the room, and you meet the organisers, who know everyone.
• Dating apps widen the circle beyond your course and campus. Apps built for the Indian diaspora let you meet people who share your background but not your lecture hall, which can make things less awkward if it does not work out.

Our guide to meeting Indian singles abroad has more ideas that work for students and graduates alike.

Dating on a student budget

Cheap dates are often better dates, because you talk more:

• A walk through a park, a market or a part of the city neither of you knows
• Street food or a cheap curry house, split down the middle
• A free museum, gallery or campus event
• Cooking together, which tells you a lot about a person
• Studying together in a café, if you can both actually concentrate

Split costs by default, or take turns. It saves money and avoids the quiet pressure of one person always paying.

Keep your studies in the picture

This is the part that is easiest to let slip.

A new relationship takes time and energy, and so does a degree in a second language, a new education system or both. Set aside your study time and protect it. Tell the other person when you have deadlines. A good partner will understand, and if they do not, that tells you something.

It also helps to keep your own friends. A relationship that becomes your entire social life abroad leaves you very alone if it ends in the middle of exam season.

Talking to your family

Many Indian students date abroad without telling their parents, at least at first. That is a personal choice, and there is no rule about when to share.

If you do decide to tell them, a few things help:

• Lead with your studies. Parents who are paying fees are usually worried first about your grades and your future, not about the relationship itself.
• Share it when it is real. Telling your family about every first date creates anxiety. Telling them about a relationship that has lasted a few months is a different conversation.
• Expect questions about background. Where they are from, what their family does, what they are studying. Have the answers ready, and keep your tone calm.

Our guide to talking to Indian parents about dating covers how to handle the first reaction.

The graduation question

At some point, usually sooner than either of you would like, the course ends.

One of you may get a job offer in another city. One of you may be expected home. Post-study work rules differ from country to country and change over time, and they may give you and your partner different options. These are not things to leave until your final month.

Talk about it early, in a low-pressure way:

• “What are you thinking of doing after the course?”
• “Would you stay here if you could, or go back?”
• “How do your parents see your next few years?”

You do not need answers straight away. You just need to know whether your plans point in roughly the same direction. If they do not, it is better to know while you can still decide what to do about it together. Our post on moving countries for a relationship covers the bigger decisions that can follow.

Staying safe in a new country

Students are a common target for scams, partly because they are new, far from home and often managing money on their own for the first time.

• Meet in public for the first few dates, and tell a flatmate where you are.
• Never send money to someone you have not met, whatever the story. Fake emergencies, investment tips and “help with my visa fees” are all common scripts.
• Be careful with your documents. Do not share photos of your passport, visa or student ID with someone you have just met.
• Know the local norms. Ideas about consent, drinking and personal space can differ from what you are used to. When in doubt, ask, and respect the answer.

Our online dating safety guide goes into fake profiles and romance scams in more detail.

The short version

Studying abroad is a good time to meet people, as long as you keep your degree, your friends and your safety in the picture. Use the first term, join the societies, keep dates cheap and simple, and talk about what happens after graduation long before the final term.

Plenty of couples who met as students are still together years later. The ones who make it usually had the awkward conversations early.

If you would like to meet other Indian students and graduates in your city, NRI Meet is free on iOS and Android.

Frequently asked questions

Is it okay to date while studying abroad as an Indian student?

Yes. Plenty of students meet someone during their degree, and some of those relationships last. The things that make it work are the same as anywhere: honesty about what you want, keeping your studies on track, and being upfront about the uncertainty of what happens after graduation.

Where can Indian students meet other Indian singles abroad?

Indian student associations, cultural societies, festival events such as Diwali nights and Holi celebrations, language or regional groups, volunteering, and dating apps built for the Indian diaspora. Many students find that the community events in their first term are the easiest way in.

Should I tell my parents I am dating while studying abroad?

That depends on your family and on how serious the relationship is. Many students wait until a relationship is established before telling their parents. If you do tell them, reassure them about your studies first, because that is usually what they are worried about.

What happens to a student relationship after graduation?

It depends on where each of you can and wants to live next. Post-study work rules, job offers and family expectations can send two people to different countries. Talk about your plans well before your final term, so that neither of you is surprised.